Hey Vamp!

My Google Assistant (other brands are available!) is – and there’s no easy way to say this – a vamp.

Since the get go she has not responded well to me. Thinking about it, I’m not sure I can recall a time that she has EVER responded to me. I have this image of her on a chaise longue, filing her nails. My cries of ‘Hey Google’ might as well be programmed for her to say ‘whatevs’ and carry on manicuring those fingers that she is not sticking up at me.

However, when my husband asks her anything, she pulls on her Elizabeth Bennetesque bonnet, flirts, giggles and provides completely disproportionate detail to what he’s asked for. His request for ‘is it raining in London?’ turns into a seductive world weather report and combined shipping forecast.

Time to try an ‘Alex’ methinks!